"Kill Your Television"

Since beginning this stay-at-home-dad experiement last August, I've had plenty of time to familiarize myself with the daytime TV schedule — particularly shows Connor finds interesting.

Usually, our routine consists of Connor waking up around 8:00. After giving him a few moments to wake up, I'll make my way upstairs to change his diaper and get his clothes on that will surely be caked with dirt in less than ten minutes. Then we'll head downstairs for a cup of soymilk, and I'll turn the TV on so I can make breakfast while he finishes waking up and inhales his beverage. Typically, Connor will watch an episode of Caillou, followed by Dr. Phil, and sometimes capped off with a little bit of Sesame Street for good measure.

I'm sorry, did one of those not belong?

Okay, I confess, I occasionally...okay, regularly...okay, religiously watch Dr. Phil. But, for the record, Connor asks to watch it when I first enter his room in the mornings.

"Get some milk and watch Dr. Phil, Daddy?"

What can I say? He likes campy and mindless TV shows. I suppose I should keep him away from Desperate Housewives or Fox News.

I must admit, it's reassuring to know that there are indeed people out there more messed up than me. Sure, I have OCD, I'm a tightwad with our finances, and I'm not exactly the world's best communicator, but did you know that there are folks out there who give their kids money knowing that it's gonna be used for drugs? How 'bout the lady who lets her husband sleep in a bed with her 15-year-old daughter? Ooh, how about the packrat people? (That's another animal entirely.)

You know how common wisdom tells you that, in order to make yourself look better, you should stand next to someone less attractive?

I'm looking pretty damn good right now.