"Only The Lonely"

This is not necessarily an anti-daycare screed, but if you find yourself especially sensitive about other people taking care of your kids, come back tomorrow.

Today, Connor and I went to a nearby playground to lose some water weight in the oppressive heat and burn off the Cookie Crisp we ate for breakfast. (We've been eating GREAT since Stacey started coupon shopping.) Apparently, a local daycare had the same idea because the playground was swarming with kids, most of whom were too old to be playing on slides, swings and sand.

The daycare's two workers who had accompanied the 30-or-so kids to the park — terrible odds should there be a Lord of the Flies-type uprising, don't ya think? — were squeezed in together at a picnic table off in the shade, while the kids wore themselves out in the sun. When Connor and I got there, we were swarmed faster than a discarded piece of hotdog on an anthill.

CanIplaywiththoseshovels? Doeshewanttoplaytag? Whyisn'therunningaround? What'syourname? Pushmeontheswing? Arethosetattoosreal? Areyouhisdaddy? Whyishestaringatme?

To his credit, overwhelmed though he obviously was, Connor never lashed out at these overly enthusiastic kids. Me? I may or may not have intentionally tripped one or ten of them. I ain't sayin'.

Another dad who also had the unfortunate luck of choosing this day to go to this playground had to sit with his two children while the daycare kids ran off with their toys. He lasted about 15 minutes before deciding to pack it in and head home, defeated by a horde of wild kids hungry for attention of any kind.

When it was time for the group of kids to leave, the two daycare workers tried to assemble them in an orderly fashion, but the kids seemed to be having trouble shutting off their overdrive function, much like a car with a cinder block lying on the gas pedal.

Hellooooooooo," one of them said sarcastically. "I don't have eyes in the back of my head. Get where I can see you. And quit making all that noise so I can think!"

Nice.

We have been planning on having Connor start a "school" program in the fall, which he would attend two days a week for four hours each day — though mainly for socialization benefits.

Now I'm having second thoughts about it.