"We People Who Are Darker Than Blue"

Somewhere in my many boxes of old photos, is a picture of me when I was 17. Taken during the summer, this particular snapshot probably captured my skin at its most dark state — as I apparently spent a lot of time out of doors that year. Being a descendent of Swedes and Scotch-Irish folk, I'm hardly the swarthy beast that many of you surely assume me to be purely by how badass I come across on this blog, right? Rest assured, though, I'm every bit the man-beast that you've come to expect on the inside...somewhere...maybe.

I'm not nearly Johnny Winter pale, but I would never, ever be confused for anything other than a white guy – a very white guy.

This summer, though, I may be giving the 17-year-old me a run for its money in the sun tan department. After a two-week vacation to Florida and South Carolina beaches, I had already accumulated a fair amount of sun, but since we returned home, it's become quite apparent that I'm developing an actual tan — despite a very unhealthy addiction to suncreen, which stops just short of me eating the stuff. Connor is even getting darker, despite never wearing a sunscreen with an SPF rating of less than a 50 while out of doors.

Even my Italian wife, who usually makes me look jaundiced when comparing our skin tones, is looking a bit sickly. To be fair though, she — who can transform the tint of her skin to a hue befitting even Hulk Hogan simply by watching a documentary about the sun — spent a fair portion of her two-week vacation sick at the condo or laid up in the hospital. Plus, she's got a 9-to-5 that keeps her indoors for most of the day, the poor lass.

Now that I have an entire summer to bake in the sun, I'm wondering if I'll know whether I've gotten too much sun.

Uhhhh, maybe I'll spend the rest of the summer inside instead.