Everything I need to know...I learned in the grocery store
It's been said that you learn something new every single day. Today, I learned far more than just one piddly little thing. For your reading enjoyment, I present to you everything I learned today while at Wal-Mart with Connor.
Mama is HOT! (Well, duh!)
We were standing in the checkout line, waiting on a price check for a customer ahead of us in line, when Connor started pointing and saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama." I looked in the direction of his point and saw a magazine with Ashley Judd's face plastered on the cover. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Daddy is HOT! (Houston, we have a problem)
Shortly after Connor understandably mistook Ashley Judd for his mother, he started pointing in the opposite direction saying, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." Of course, he's pointing at another magazine, but who do I see on the cover? No, not Stringbean... it was Brad Pitt. I don't want to discount Connor's thinking that his Mama looks like Ashley Judd, but I think we need to get his vision checked.
Tell me something I don't know!
Apparently Sen. Ted Kennedy and Tom Cruise are having a secret love affair and an alien is having their baby. It must be true, because I read it in the paper. If it's in print, it must be true, right?
I rule!
Judging what everyone else had in their carts, I am the healthiest person on the planet. Sure, I eat a little bit of junk food here and there — not to mention my out of control root beer habit — but at least I consume some fruit and vegetables — though mostly in the form of V-8. Sheesh. You wanna see some out of shape people to feel better about your pathetic self? Look no further than Wal-Mart, my friends. The number of people using motorized carts is depressing enough, before you look to see what they're buying. Mmmm, Fritos, sausage and Coke for dinner...uh, or breakfast?
-Since the intent of this post was to discuss everything I learned at Wal-Mart, I am strictly prohibited from writing about Connor's out-of-nowhere 104 degree fever this afternoon. He's fine now, but I think Stacey could use some Diazepam.
Mama is HOT! (Well, duh!)
We were standing in the checkout line, waiting on a price check for a customer ahead of us in line, when Connor started pointing and saying, "Mama, Mama, Mama." I looked in the direction of his point and saw a magazine with Ashley Judd's face plastered on the cover. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Daddy is HOT! (Houston, we have a problem)
Shortly after Connor understandably mistook Ashley Judd for his mother, he started pointing in the opposite direction saying, "Daddy, Daddy, Daddy." Of course, he's pointing at another magazine, but who do I see on the cover? No, not Stringbean... it was Brad Pitt. I don't want to discount Connor's thinking that his Mama looks like Ashley Judd, but I think we need to get his vision checked.
Tell me something I don't know!
Apparently Sen. Ted Kennedy and Tom Cruise are having a secret love affair and an alien is having their baby. It must be true, because I read it in the paper. If it's in print, it must be true, right?
I rule!
Judging what everyone else had in their carts, I am the healthiest person on the planet. Sure, I eat a little bit of junk food here and there — not to mention my out of control root beer habit — but at least I consume some fruit and vegetables — though mostly in the form of V-8. Sheesh. You wanna see some out of shape people to feel better about your pathetic self? Look no further than Wal-Mart, my friends. The number of people using motorized carts is depressing enough, before you look to see what they're buying. Mmmm, Fritos, sausage and Coke for dinner...uh, or breakfast?
-Since the intent of this post was to discuss everything I learned at Wal-Mart, I am strictly prohibited from writing about Connor's out-of-nowhere 104 degree fever this afternoon. He's fine now, but I think Stacey could use some Diazepam.
posted by Carter at 7:24 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home