Word Nerd

Tonight, I'm going to tackle a topic I've been considering writing about for awhile — that being language and how it may or may not affect my little boy.

I've had a few discussions with family members and friends about the types of words we use around Connor. Mostly, these chats have revolved around me defending my views. When it comes to words that some perceive as "cursed" there's no reasoning with some people.

At 20 months, Connor has heard probably every curse word there is — though not every day and not with great frequency. If I crack my head on the car door or bend my fingernail back putting my shoes on, you can bet that I'm gonna let an "worty dird" fly. (Once, we were in Wal-Mart and Connor started shouting, "Oh shit, oh shit," really loudly, though you'd have had to really know what he was saying to have understood it.)

Words have only the power that YOU give them. When I was in middle school, I never understood why I got sent to detention for saying "shit," but not "crap." These words mean the exact same thing. Same with "damn" and "dang," unless you're condemning someone to Hell, in which case doesn't "condemn" mean the same thing? Plus, in the early 1900s, words such as "dang" and "shoot" were considered curse words. (My mother — a non-curser if ever there was one — says "shoot.") Is anyone really sanitizing their speech by using replacement curse words?

Maybe I'll feel differently when Connor is calling me from school to tell me that he got caught screaming the "f" word 20 times in a row at the top of his lungs at recess (as I did in sixth grade), but I have absolutely no problem teaching Connor that words are words and nothing more. (Yes, I do plan on teaching him that there are certain places where word selection matters more than others.) Do people get put off when they hear a curse word in a foreign language? No, because they have no preconceived notion of what the word means and don't know that they're "supposed" to be offended. Just as the Red Sox nation learned last year, there is no curse.

Please don't take this to mean that I'll going to allow Connor to use every word that has a negative stigma. If I catch anyone using racial slurs in front of him (as a family member did a few weeks back, causing me to freeze and say to myself, "Did I really hear what I thought I just heard?"), I'm going to flip out and hurt somebody.

So, don't give me the speech about how I'm harming my son by swearing in front of him. I'm a writer. I know about words and stuff...uh, dammit.