Everybody Poops

Have you ever heard the phrase "it's like trying to cram ten pounds of sand into a five pound bag?" This stupid, cutesy saying is typically associated with trying to accomplish something impossible.

Ten pounds of sand into a five pound bag, you say? Surely not, sir. I've done that math and the equation you speak of is most certainly outside the realm of possibility.

Then would someone please explain to me how it is possible for a certain little boy to eat almost nothing all day and wake up the following morning with more poop in his diaper than he even has room for in his digestive system, had it even been filled to capacity to begin with?

A few hours after we dealt with the scat-splosion, I noticed a little redness on Connor's "boyhood." Apparently, I hadn't gotten every single remnant of the waste matter off of him when I cleaned him (despite using a stack of Wet Wipes, some steel wool and a pressure washer). The resulting rash probably gave the same sensation as wearing a barbed-wire thong.

Worst. Dad. Ever