Sweet Little Lies
The brainwashing starts in kindergarten. “When you get to first grade, things won’t be so easy.” Once you’re in first grade, though, all you hear about is how tough it’s going to be in second grade. This predictable pattern repeats itself every year, and it seems like most kids never catch on. For some reason, I figured out early that teachers, parents, and authority figures in general, are constantly trying to scare kids into behaving by letting them know how good they have it now and how bad they’ll have it later on if they don’t shape up.
I thought that once I finished school I’d seen the last of this nonsense. But, once you become a parent, it actually gets worse, not to mention all the similar “advice” offered when you get married.
What follows is a sample of actual comments I have heard from what I’m sure were well-meaning people in the last three years:
-Just wait until you guys get pregnant; then your life will really change.
-Believe me, the pregnancy was easy compared to taking care of an infant.
-Enjoy the first two weeks [of Connor’s life] because after that he’ll stop sleeping all the time, and life will get very interesting.
-Raising an infant is such a breeze compared to a toddler. Once they can get around on their own, you’re in trouble.
-Toddlers are tough, but wait until you have a two-year-old on your hands.
As Connor isn’t yet a-year-and-a-half, this is obviously where the warnings stop, but you can bet that we’ll continue to receive these half-assed, I’m-working-harder-than-you boasts for at least 30 more years. (Wait ‘til you have a teenager…wait ‘til you have a kid that can drive…wait ‘til he gets his seventh DUI…wait ‘til he moves back in at 28.)
Is there ever a point in life where people feel that someone really doesn’t need any more pointless warnings? Hey, you’re 80 years old, a military veteran, a father of nineteen, a full-time-job-holder since the age of 14, a great-grandfather of twelve, and you have an IQ of 185, but just wait until you turn 90. My great-grandfather just turned 90 and you wouldn’t believe….
I thought that once I finished school I’d seen the last of this nonsense. But, once you become a parent, it actually gets worse, not to mention all the similar “advice” offered when you get married.
What follows is a sample of actual comments I have heard from what I’m sure were well-meaning people in the last three years:
-Just wait until you guys get pregnant; then your life will really change.
-Believe me, the pregnancy was easy compared to taking care of an infant.
-Enjoy the first two weeks [of Connor’s life] because after that he’ll stop sleeping all the time, and life will get very interesting.
-Raising an infant is such a breeze compared to a toddler. Once they can get around on their own, you’re in trouble.
-Toddlers are tough, but wait until you have a two-year-old on your hands.
As Connor isn’t yet a-year-and-a-half, this is obviously where the warnings stop, but you can bet that we’ll continue to receive these half-assed, I’m-working-harder-than-you boasts for at least 30 more years. (Wait ‘til you have a teenager…wait ‘til you have a kid that can drive…wait ‘til he gets his seventh DUI…wait ‘til he moves back in at 28.)
Is there ever a point in life where people feel that someone really doesn’t need any more pointless warnings? Hey, you’re 80 years old, a military veteran, a father of nineteen, a full-time-job-holder since the age of 14, a great-grandfather of twelve, and you have an IQ of 185, but just wait until you turn 90. My great-grandfather just turned 90 and you wouldn’t believe….
posted by Carter at 7:40 PM
2 Comments:
ha ha. That's pretty funny. But just wait....
All of that was really funny except the comment about moving back home at 28. In case you forgot I'll be 28 next year and we might need a place to stay....
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