"Take This Job And Shove It"
After a year-and-a-half of jockeying for the position of non-wage-earning-parent who gets to stay home and hang out all day while listening to King Crimson and eating pizza, Stacey and I have decided (I was tricked, dammit!) that I will seek gainful full-time employment upon the termination of her post-doctoral position this summer.
Translation: Since I lack the internal mechanisms required for child-birth, I'm going back to work.
Stacey is worried that I'll procrastinate until the last possible moment to begin the job hunt, but I've got a rock-solid plan; Since a good many people read this blog (I know so because of the constant reminders I get when too much time has elapsed between updates, and because of the countless random strangers that have approached me at, say, Target expressing their surprise that I'm not at Wal-Mart instead.) I am banking on one—or several—of YOU to find me a job instead. Sounds like a plan, right? Besides, I've been giving and giving for free here, and have asked for little in return... except for the iPhone that I'm SURE will be arriving in my mailbox the day it's released to the public, hmmm?
You probably want to know what I'm looking for. Here's my ideal job, after staying home with Connor, of course:
1. In my professional career, I've held jobs in the fields of fast food, the custodial arts (that's a ten-cent word for 'janitor'), construction, landscape, soul-sucking corporate office, and editorial/journalism. Hmmm. Which of these industries would you prefer? I dunno 'bout yous, but I like writering and stuff. I be goods at it.
2. Of course, I will require at least a low four-figure salary. I almost typed "four-digit." That's pretty much what Stacey and I are both bringing home now.
4. No jobs that require a working knowledge of math. For that matter, I want nothing to do with a job that requires acknowledging that math even exists.
5. NO NEWSPAPERS! I have probably written more words in this blog that I will ever utter aloud in my entire life. I'm an introvert with OCD. I'm not exactly what you'd call a 'people' person. Newspaper reporters have to, like, talk to people—a lot. Sheesh.
I think that's pretty much it. I need YOU to find ME a writing-related job that pays really well , and that doesn't involve math or personal interaction. Oh yeah, that should be a breeze.
Translation: Since I lack the internal mechanisms required for child-birth, I'm going back to work.
Stacey is worried that I'll procrastinate until the last possible moment to begin the job hunt, but I've got a rock-solid plan; Since a good many people read this blog (I know so because of the constant reminders I get when too much time has elapsed between updates, and because of the countless random strangers that have approached me at, say, Target expressing their surprise that I'm not at Wal-Mart instead.) I am banking on one—or several—of YOU to find me a job instead. Sounds like a plan, right? Besides, I've been giving and giving for free here, and have asked for little in return... except for the iPhone that I'm SURE will be arriving in my mailbox the day it's released to the public, hmmm?You probably want to know what I'm looking for. Here's my ideal job, after staying home with Connor, of course:
1. In my professional career, I've held jobs in the fields of fast food, the custodial arts (that's a ten-cent word for 'janitor'), construction, landscape, soul-sucking corporate office, and editorial/journalism. Hmmm. Which of these industries would you prefer? I dunno 'bout yous, but I like writering and stuff. I be goods at it.
2. Of course, I will require at least a low four-figure salary. I almost typed "four-digit." That's pretty much what Stacey and I are both bringing home now.
4. No jobs that require a working knowledge of math. For that matter, I want nothing to do with a job that requires acknowledging that math even exists.
5. NO NEWSPAPERS! I have probably written more words in this blog that I will ever utter aloud in my entire life. I'm an introvert with OCD. I'm not exactly what you'd call a 'people' person. Newspaper reporters have to, like, talk to people—a lot. Sheesh.
I think that's pretty much it. I need YOU to find ME a writing-related job that pays really well , and that doesn't involve math or personal interaction. Oh yeah, that should be a breeze.
posted by Carter at 2:54 PM
6 Comments:
Don't you mean five figure? I'm not sure we could live on less than 10,000 a year. A four figure would require me to get really good at this couponing thing.
Whatever you end up doing I'm sure you'll be great! We have sure enjoyed your writering stuff.
"Don't you mean five figure?"
Actually I meant six-figure. I told you I'm lousy at math. Case in point.
yikes. too many jabs at math in this post. without math i would have no job. me like numbers.
Sorry, Jill.
When you're teaching, take pity on that slow kid in the back who just isn't getting it—or sitting still long enough to get it—because he may grow up one day to write a blog post about how much he hates math.
Boy wouldn't that suck?!
I am new in canada. I read it twice but could not understand completely. I guess you have a good sense of humor, haven't you?
Post a Comment
<< Home