"Free Speech For The Dumb"
Disclaimer: If you haven't read the previous post, skip this one until you've read it.
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Conventional wisdom holds that the one to scream the loudest will be the first to fall. Remember yesterday's post? I believe I was bragging about how we'd finally conquered Connor's multiple escape attempts from his bedroom...
D'oh!
The very next morning, our soon-to-be cat burglar somehow managed to break out of his room without alerting me. The most likely possibility is that I somehow slept through the doorbell-like alarm, although I'm still not convinced that some technical glitch prevented the alarm from sounding. The only way out of his room that doesn't involve a child-proofed or alarm-enabled door would be through either the skylight or the airvent. At any rate, I think I'm going to hide the Batman comic books for awhile.
At any rate, at about 8 a.m., I received a phone call from Stacey (who was on her way to work) asking me where Connor was, because she had just gotten a phone call from her mom asking where I was, because Connor was downstairs banging on her door. Still following me?
Apparently, he snuck past our bedroom door, went downstairs and closed Grammy's bedroom door, so as not to get caught, and proceeded to pour salt all over the kitchen, den and foyer. I'm still a bit perplexed as to how he managed to get so much salt from one shaker. When he was satisfied with his many masterpieces, he banged on Grammy's door until she got out of bed.
It could have been infinitely worse, though; he could have attempted to wash the floor with spaghetti sauce—like his mother did as a child.
Anyway, in light of my overt bragging, I've learned my lesson... from now on, we're chaining him to the bed and dosing him with sleeping pills.
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Conventional wisdom holds that the one to scream the loudest will be the first to fall. Remember yesterday's post? I believe I was bragging about how we'd finally conquered Connor's multiple escape attempts from his bedroom...D'oh!
The very next morning, our soon-to-be cat burglar somehow managed to break out of his room without alerting me. The most likely possibility is that I somehow slept through the doorbell-like alarm, although I'm still not convinced that some technical glitch prevented the alarm from sounding. The only way out of his room that doesn't involve a child-proofed or alarm-enabled door would be through either the skylight or the airvent. At any rate, I think I'm going to hide the Batman comic books for awhile.
At any rate, at about 8 a.m., I received a phone call from Stacey (who was on her way to work) asking me where Connor was, because she had just gotten a phone call from her mom asking where I was, because Connor was downstairs banging on her door. Still following me?
Apparently, he snuck past our bedroom door, went downstairs and closed Grammy's bedroom door, so as not to get caught, and proceeded to pour salt all over the kitchen, den and foyer. I'm still a bit perplexed as to how he managed to get so much salt from one shaker. When he was satisfied with his many masterpieces, he banged on Grammy's door until she got out of bed.
It could have been infinitely worse, though; he could have attempted to wash the floor with spaghetti sauce—like his mother did as a child.
Anyway, in light of my overt bragging, I've learned my lesson... from now on, we're chaining him to the bed and dosing him with sleeping pills.
posted by Carter at 3:24 PM
4 Comments:
Hilarious. I have several more months of crib-bliss before I have to pick-up the screwdrivers, box-cutters, poisonous snakes and rusty razor blades I tend to leave outside my son's room.
OK - I know that there were a few people that thought were child abusers for doing this, but we put a door knob protector on the inside of you know who's door during the Escape Period. This eliminated night time visits, but greatly increased the number of times a non-irriated but adament preschooler would yell "MOMMY!" right into the baby monitor. I don't recommend it if you suspect you have a heart condition, back problems or might be pregnant. Otherwise, it worked on you know who.
Did you punish him by putting him in the figure 4?
We joke about duct tape. Actually, we have a house alarm connected to Brinks that sets off as soon as your feet hit the first floor, and we turn it on every night. It's the only way I can sleep without picturing my little boy lost in the neighborhood in frigid cold. Once he's asleep, though, he pretty much stays asleep. Getting him to sleep, though, is a whole 'nother matter. I think this is the hardest thing we've done since the kid was born 2 and a half years ago, and all a result of kicking the crib to the curb. Last night he fell asleep while I was reading Snoozers and I almost cried I was so relieved.
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