"No Need To Argue"

Despite getting along famously these days, I think I've accepted that, one day, Connor and I are going to argue. These days, our disagreements consist mostly of him wanting to spend 99 percent of his life out of doors, and me insisting that we come back in for trivial routines, such as mealtimes and naps.

I know that I can't predict how our relationship will change over the course of the next something-teen years, but by the time Connor is in middle school, I fully expect the gloves to come off — I just don't know what we'll fight about yet, though I do have one prediction that I'm almost willing to lay money on: grammar.

Pffft. Kids these days have zero appreciation for proper grammatical usage. In my day, we spoke all proper like (well, not really) and we liked it. But, if you combine anincreasingg dependence on typing (e-mail, IM, etc) with the inherent laziness that is part and parcel with those of the teenage persuasion, disaster is inevitable, OMG, LMAO, ROTFL, LOL, PWNED! So br00tal!

I should confess that I've used one or two of these inane terms once or twice myself. I've even used a "smiley" in an e-mail or two. Ugh, I disgust myself.

When it comes to grammar, I'm an asshole. Stacey is probably sick to death of me chiming in every time she makes a verbal miscue, but she wasn't complaining when I was editing her cover letters for internship sites, now was she?

By the way, for those of you now self-conscious that I'm mentally correcting your grammar when we're talking, know this: Stacey is a psychologist, and I can guarantee that she's already mentally diagnosed every single one of you. She'll deny it, but don't let her fool you. You're all nuts.