"You're The Reason Our Kids Are Ugly"

When we found out that Stacey was pregnant, one theme dominated our discussions of what our life with a child would be like: If the kid is ugly, will we be objective enough to notice?

We've all seen an unattractive baby, but most people are too polite to comment with enough honesty to knock those proud parents off their high and mighty perch. Surely those parents with their faceonlyamamacouldlove baby can't possibly think that their kid is cute.

But, sure enough, when Connor was born, logic became as foreign to us as lazy mornings spent in bed or an uninterrupted night's sleep. I'm not saying the kid isn't handsome, but we were immediately anything but biased.

We just knew that Connor was the cutest kid on the planet. At night, when we were falling asleep, Stacey and I would have hushed discussions that almost bordered on apology about how cute he was, while we reassured ourselves that we hadn't caught a case of unnecessarily proud parentitis.

After having Connor, I'm definitely more in touch with babies. I notice them everywhere I go and am constantly comparing them to Connor. 'Nope, not nearly as cute,' I tell myself. 'He's got 'em all beat.'

My apologies to any of you with children to whom I've secretly compared Connor, but I suspect you're guilty of the same crime. Hmmm?

The funny thing is, when Stacey and I now look at Connor's baby pictures, we've realized that he was a little funny looking. No hair, a wild baby smile that showed off his entire uvula, and one lone dimple made for crazy baby.

But now that he's grown up a little, he's really cute.

I promise.