"Suck My Kiss"
When I was 14, I was hanging out with a friend of mine when his mom came into the kitchen where we were eating. She'd been out all day and hadn't seen her son (my friend) in a day or two.
"Hi, honey. I missed you," she said.
"Hi, Mom," he replied.
Then she kissed him...on the lips! You could have easily stuffed a sotfball into my gaping mouth. On the lips?! Your mom?!? Sure it was just an innocent kiss, but ugh!
This scene sent quite the shock to my relatively young system, but rather than rolling around the floor in a mouth-foaming, obscenity-screaming seizure, I tried to stay calm and internalize the horror I'd just witnessed. At this age, I'd never seen anyone that wasn't married or "going together" kiss like that, and it just seemed wrong. I knew, without even thinking about it, that I'd never kiss my kids on the lips.
Flash forward 15 years and I'm sure you can guess my dirty little secret, but I'll put it out there anyway: Hi, I'm Carter. My son is almost two years old and I still kiss him on the lips, despite lecturing my wife about doing it when he was firstborn.
(So that's how it is in their family!)
Personally, I'm defenseless on this issue. I can't help myself. He doesn't really know how to "kiss back" so having trading kisses on the cheek is somewhat unfulfilling. Plus, Connor doesn't seem to mind an innocent peck on the lips. But, I think we may have arrived at a solution to this problem...well, Connor has arrived at a solution.
He's using his tongue.
In the past week or two, he's started trying to slip the tongue whenever he's kissed. He experimented with this tactic briefly about a year ago, but stopped after a day or two. This time, I'm afraid, we may have to officially abandon on-the-lip-kisses. Whenever I'm getting close to his face, I have to keep a close eye on his mouth to make sure he's got his lips closed.
I can't believe I'm writing about my son giving me the tongue. I think I need to retire this blog now.
"Hi, honey. I missed you," she said.
"Hi, Mom," he replied.
Then she kissed him...on the lips! You could have easily stuffed a sotfball into my gaping mouth. On the lips?! Your mom?!? Sure it was just an innocent kiss, but ugh!
This scene sent quite the shock to my relatively young system, but rather than rolling around the floor in a mouth-foaming, obscenity-screaming seizure, I tried to stay calm and internalize the horror I'd just witnessed. At this age, I'd never seen anyone that wasn't married or "going together" kiss like that, and it just seemed wrong. I knew, without even thinking about it, that I'd never kiss my kids on the lips.
Flash forward 15 years and I'm sure you can guess my dirty little secret, but I'll put it out there anyway: Hi, I'm Carter. My son is almost two years old and I still kiss him on the lips, despite lecturing my wife about doing it when he was firstborn.
(So that's how it is in their family!)
Personally, I'm defenseless on this issue. I can't help myself. He doesn't really know how to "kiss back" so having trading kisses on the cheek is somewhat unfulfilling. Plus, Connor doesn't seem to mind an innocent peck on the lips. But, I think we may have arrived at a solution to this problem...well, Connor has arrived at a solution.
He's using his tongue.
In the past week or two, he's started trying to slip the tongue whenever he's kissed. He experimented with this tactic briefly about a year ago, but stopped after a day or two. This time, I'm afraid, we may have to officially abandon on-the-lip-kisses. Whenever I'm getting close to his face, I have to keep a close eye on his mouth to make sure he's got his lips closed.
I can't believe I'm writing about my son giving me the tongue. I think I need to retire this blog now.
posted by Carter at 8:13 PM
2 Comments:
At least Connor doesn't bite his tongue and then protest when you won't "kiss it better"...but maybe that's coming next. Don't retire the blog. It amuses me.
You forgot to add that we scream, "Don't use your tongue!" and tickle him. I think we might be encouraging the whole thing...just maybe. And I wanted to add that I love how he goes to give kisses and says "No tongue." My, what people around us must think.
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